The wait-it-out method means you meet your child’s needs and don’t adopt any sort of ‘sleep training’… knowing that this stage passes and soon enough your babe will be grown up, in their own bed and sleeping through the night.
Yes, its a hard road to walk, an all-consuming exhaustion settled over mama (and papa) for a couple of years.
References I found to WIO referred to a post on NURSHABLE.COM – “I can wait it out so that you don’t have to cry it out.”
There is a beautiful letter that Sarah at Nurshable has written to her child about meeting their needs, knowing this is a stage, and enjoying the moment.
“I can wait until you have the words to explain your needs and until I can use my words to help you understand the deliciousness and safety of the dark warm place that is your bed in the night in your room in your home with mommy and daddy just a door away.”
I didnt know it had a name but after ‘sleep training’ his older brothers, I used this on my baby. I knew it felt better to me to be meeting his needs.
He slept beside me, and I loved the cuddles, the warmth of his body, the tiny curves of his limbs, his feet tucked into my tummy. He fed in the night, sometimes hourly, but I barely noticed and I knew I was getting more sleep by doing this rather than having to get up.
I took him to bed, I fed him, he went to sleep. He woke, I fed him, he went to sleep. He hardly uttered a noise. I would hear babies crying and think it was such an odd noise, because my baby didnt cry.
Oh, dont get me wrong, it was tiring. Some days I felt ‘touched out’ and I had to give him to his father and go for a walk or drive to recharge. I declined many social occasions because I couldn’t leave him.
But I knew I was doing the right thing for him and I knew this time would pass.
I recently joined a Facebook group with a bunch of parents who all WIO. There are some motivating posts from Mama’s with their older babes who are starting to sleep. There are some posts from tired mama’s who had a hard night, but there are also plenty of heartwarming and reassuring messages. Occasionally a mama will lament on how tired she is, how she isn’t coping, and the group will rally around her…… reassuring, supporting, encouraging.
It’s a far cry from the messages a mama would get if she posted on her personal page – no doubt she would be swamped with ‘let him cry,’ ‘put him in his own bed’ etc.
My baby is now nearly 4. We’ve been encouraging him to sleep in his own bed, he is excited about this. We lay down with him to fall asleep. He usually wakes early in the morning (between 3 and 5) and slips in beside me, usually going straight back to sleep. I love those cuddles, even now, although his feet no longer tuck into my tum, but are draped over my own legs. His arms wrap around my neck and he holds my head tight to his chest, and I think,’ this moment is precious’.
Wait-it-out is great!